Yes, these are excerpts from real conversations I've had. I have a sense of humor about them so don't feel too sorry for me. But still...!
HE: You going to put your face on for the party? ME: My face is on.
SHE: You have very fine hair, don't you? ME: Why yes, what makes you say that?
SHE: You know, they make these really nice padded bras. You should try one. ME: I'm wearing one.
ME: I like your jeans, with the back pocket flaps. SHE: They're from The Gap. They're good because I have a flat butt...... like you. ME: *momentary stunned silence because no one has ever said this to me before* That's funny because sometimes I feel like I almost have a Jo-Lo butt, like in my yoga pants. SHE: Jo-Lo!? *laughs*
ME (at store): Where are your Curvy jeans? SHE (looking me up and down): Are you sure? You look pretty straight to me.
ME (same store, different woman, different day): *trying on pants* SHE: You're small but you have hips.
SHE: I love your blog! I loved the one about that cats. Oh and the one about [something I did not write]. ME: *looks confused* I never wrote about [that]. *discovers that SHE, while reading my blog, mistakenly stumbled upon a post by another blogger thinking it was me.*
HE: Your thigh looks really big from here. ME: It must be the way I'm sitting.